CB3

Went to CB3 last night. The liquor licensing committee seems to have improved its method of operations. The agenda indicated the time each item would be presented.

I didn't stay around to observe the action. The Distrcit Manager, as always, insulted me in her usual manner by telling me to get out of the way while I am actually not in her way as she walks right passed me with plenty of space to spare. She does this to me every time I attend a meeting, even though I never block an entry. Stupidly, I fell into the trap of responding to her incivility with my own, which, of course, doesn't do any good but just makes everything worse. I left feeling angry at her, angry at myself for being unpleasant to someone in her own workplace on her work time, and full of the frustration of having to want to justify myself yet still not being able to understand why she can't be civil and why I don't know how to let it roll off my back.

Of all the places I find myself, the Community Board 3 is without doubt the most unpleasant. The things that people have done there to me, the things that I have done there -- it's just a hellhole that somehow brings out the worst of human nature. At CUNY, where I'm teaching, the department is welcoming, considerate and fun, the students, despite all the pressures on them, are with few exceptions wonderful to be around, all the employees, from security to custodial staff, all charming to a fault, even the administration is at least pleasant and cooperative. Everyone seems to make an effort to please. Why is the community board so unpleasant?

Going to Community Board 3 reminds me of encountering the body builders who worked out on the chin-up bar in the park twenty years ago. They couldn't talk to you without telling you what to do, how to do it, that you're doing it wrong because you're not doing it their way, even though they weren't paying any attention at all to what you were doing, and what they were doing was limited at best. That's the community board in a nutshell.